Friendship is an integral part of human life. Humans being social animals, they need friends right from their toddler days till the last date. Friends share not only our tastes, but our secrets, our happiness and our sorrows too. Having said that, we do find different types of friends and not all friends are the same. Due to some friends influence we do grow up and achieve our dreams, but due some others we not only stay where we are at present, but might slide down further in achieving our goals. If friends are so important in life, then you can imagine their influence on our kids. The following are the simple 5 tips to identify if your child is really into a toxic friendship are not?
1) Pressurizing friends:
Your kids friends always pressurize him/her to do the things that are normally out of the limits for him/her. The moment, they cross that line, these friends come running to you or to your partner to complain about your kid. The underlying reason for this kind of behavior by the other kids is that, they want your kid to simply get the scoldings in front of them. So as a parent, its all the more important for us not to loose our cool and tell our kids again and again not to cross those limits set by us. Also educate them on the consequences of crossing those limits and how harmful it is for them to do so.
2) Demeaning friends:
Some friends would always mention to your kid that hes/she doesn’t know anything or he/she is a scary goat. Last but not the least, they mention that your kid is always a zero and they are only the hero’s. We, as parents can ignore this kind of teasing till the time we observe that our kids self confidence levels are going down. Once we observe this, then we need to start boosting up our kids confidence levels by mentioning how special they are and why those kids keep teasing them like this. We need to make our kids understand the underlying motivation for their friends to resort to this kind of teasing.
3) Possessive friends:
Some friends become overly possessive about our kids and they really don’t like our kids to have friendship with any other person other than them. This is a sure shot reason for us to step in and explain about the need for various friends and involve other kid also in this talk. Show both the kids that they both can’t be together all the time and hence is the need for the outside friendship.
4) Discrediting friends:
This kind of friends don’t like to give any credit (pampering also as we are talking about kids here) to your son/daughter. All the time, these friends want to talk about them and tell how great they are and things like that. Even in front of the relatives/friends who visit your house, they only want the credit and pampering from you rather than your kids. These friends are more dangerous as they start spreading false rumors about your kids too. So as a parent, its our duty to show the place of each person in our house and we have to strongly reiterate that every body gets their credit/discredit for the things they do only.
5) Physical bullying:
Some kids are just plain and simple physical bullies. They resort to only physical bullying as they don’t have that much patience or the tactics to resort to the psychological bullying. They are easier to deal with and your kid him/herself can deal with these friends in a direct way. We as parents need to step in only if the kids who are using this method of bullying are much elder kids and our kids are scared of them.
Whatever may be the case, its always helpful for a parent to keep an eye on all the friends of our kids. But at the same time, we need not have to jump in for every small problem they are encountering. We need to only provide our kids the tools/tips to use when they encounter any problems. Then only their confidence levels will improve and they would become a better person in the long run.